Never Feel Happy
by Inu Kaiba
Summary: Never feel happy, for emotions betray you. Never feel happy, for people betray you. Never love people, for them and love betrays you. InuKag. OneShot. [Belated BDay Present]


Inu Kaiba: Happy Belated Birthday Megan, I felt it was proper to release this one whole month after your birthday.

Summary: Never feel happy, for emotions betray you. Never feel happy, for people betray you. Never love people, for them and love betrays you. InuKag. One-Shot. B-Day Fic

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I walked down the stairs as calmly as possible, for someone who felt like she was about to burst. I walked into the living room, eyes scanning over the pile of presents, or where the pile of presents was supposed to be. I glanced at the gift bag my dad gave me and the card from my mom.

My parents were always fighting, so they couldn't decide who gets what. My dad and I were always really close so I figured he would've gotten me something special. I sighed and walked over to the bag in the corner. Hair scrunchies, new clothes, a new school uniform to go with my other ones since I always seemed to tear mine…. But at the bottom of the seemingly endless bag was the most precious thing of all.

To one side there was a stack of books by my favorite author, Sarah Dessen. All the ones I was gonna buy were there, so now I could use my birthday money for new clothes.

On the other side was something just as precious. It was a necklace made of what appeared to be little bones, similar to fangs. Attached to it was a humongous purplish pink jewel. I gasped, it was so beautiful and I instantly adored it.

"Shikon Jewel…" I murmured to myself reading the tag my dad had obviously left on so I'd know just what it was.

Turning to the kitchen table where my mom had left a card, I tore into the paper as the twenty dollar bill fluttered to the floor. I carefully picked up the bill, in somewhat of a cradle and scanned the card. Just bullshit about how this was my special day and how she supposedly was proud of me. What pissed me off was she signed it love, mom when she didn't give a fuck about me.

Well I guess you might wanna know a bit more about me huh? My name is Kagome Higurashi and today is my fifteenth birthday. My best friend's name is Kikyou Motsuri.

And the two most important boys in my life are InuYasha and Kouga. My life is a topsy-turvy world with so many twists and turns, and a lot of the time it's impossible for me to win.

I honestly love both of them with all my heart but I can't choose. I can't. And they can't make me.

I sighed heavily and removed the Shikon Jewel from amidst the wrappings and carefully removing the tag before undoing the clasp and winding the chain around my neck, I snapped it closed. I fingered the glass ball and placed my head in my hands.

It was supposed to be my special day, but instead I felt like shit. Shit, shit, shit. I threw the tissue paper and the card still in it's envelope into the garbage, my mom wasn't worth it enough for me to bother keeping a stupid meaningless card. I almost threw out the twenty bucks because she gave it to me and she didn't mean it. But I kept it, because money was money and there was no reason to just throw away money.

I stacked the clothes and books and jewelry box in the gift bag, and rushed back up the stairs. I dumped the bag on the floor and kicked it under my bed hoping my sisters wouldn't get at it. But knowing them, they'd steal whatever they wanted out of it and leave the crap for me. I was glad I'd put the necklace on and hoped they'd at least leave the books for me.

I looked at the clock and realized it was time for school. "Shit!" I swore. I carefully removed the necklace from my neck and placing it on the dresser before rushing around the room in a flurry pulling clothes off my head and dumping them on chairs and practically everywhere before rooting through the pile of clothes on the floor and sniffing clothes while examining them with a picky eye until I could find a pair of pants and a t-shirt that were clean and not smelly, in short wearable.

No one in our house ever put clothes away. Closets were used for storing junk, ugly clothes we hated, or clothes that didn't fit anymore. Clothes were draped across the floor or tossed to the ground in piled and easily forgotten about. I threw my old, worn out pajamas in the pile with the rest of my clothes, and snatching the necklace.

I dashed down the stairs and into the kitchen where after a quick inspection was made, I found the bag of bread. Despite its not very fresh sealing, I practically tore the opening off the bag opening it up and grabbed a piece of bread, shoving it in my mouth to hold it in place while twisting the bag of bread's opening around to its original place and winding the twist tie around the wound up opening and tossed it back into the cabinet where all the food and crap went.

Then I stuck the piece of bread with the bite mark and saliva, into an empty, hopefully working slot in the toaster and pushed the lever down before dashing from the kitchen into the living room. There I paused and undid the clasp, and after positioning the necklace around my neck once again, I resumed my race.

Who could run with a necklace in hand when they needed a free hand anyways?

I raced around the living room, grabbing papers with drawings of triangles and little doodles that obviously clued you in I'd been doing lots of math homework last night. I grabbed my textbook off the dining room table and raced over to the door. Grabbing my backpack, I shoved the papers in to become a crumpled, untidy mess at the bottom of my bag.

Following that, I dashed up the stairs and into my room, pulling a drawer as hard as I could out in my frenzy and thrusting a hand into it. My hand quickly felt through the contents of the drawer before closing around the object I'd been looking for; my wallet.

Hastily pulling the gift bag out from under my bag, I fished around inside of it before my hand enclosed around the twenty dollars and kneeling on the floor. I hurriedly undid the clasp of my wallet and shoved the twenty dollars in as neatly as possible when one is in the hurry. Then I redid the clasp and tucked the wallet under my arm, and kicked the gift bag back underneath my bed.

I dashed down the stairs and threw my wallet into my unzipped knapsack before zipping it up again and throwing it on my back in a hurry. I began doing a little dance one would make when they had to use the washroom while waiting for my toast to come up. The second I heard the spring shoot up, I thrust my hand out and grabbed the toast out of its slot and shoving that to into my mouth, I dashed out the door eating the piece of toast as I ran and wishing I had some butter to go along with it. Or jam. Jam is good.

(Page Break)

Now I was off to Kikyou's house just like every other day.

I always seemed to be walking back to her house just to see him. We all met there every day, Kikyou, InuYasha and I. InuYasha. My dresser was cluttered with pictures of Kikyou and InuYasha and I. I opened my wallet and gave one of my absolute favorite pictures a once over to give myself some confidence for the day.

I was in the middle and Kikyou was on one side with one of her arms draped around my shoulder and InuYasha was on the other side holding the exact same pose. I had my eyes closed and my tongue sticking out and was forming the peace sign.

We looked so happy, carefree. We could fool anyone into thinking that's exactly how we were if we showed them that picture. But life was like that picture in a way. The picture is cut in half and taped back together again and again, the essence of life in a way. Your picture can be happy carefree, then ripped in two; shattered into pieces. But you pick up those pieces, and put them back together; which is what reminded me of the picture being ripped in half.

I stuffed the wallet back in my messy, cluttered backpack with the math papers clinging to the bottom and let myself into Kikyou's house, remembering to remove my shoes at the door like I expected people to do in my own home.

I walked into the living room as casually as possible, hell; I knew the damn place by heart. I could go blind and walk through the entire house and know where everything was unless Kikyou changed anything. It was as simple as that, and simple to remember if you spent a lot of your life in the house, particularly the kitchen, living room and Kikyou's room.

I sat down on the couch beside InuYasha. He looked like he hadn't a care in the world, yet we all knew there were a lot of things wrong with him. He had the remote control in his hand, and was flicking channels like a pro. He changed the channel yet again, and screaming rock blasted out of the speakers.

"InuYasha!" I screamed, trying to be heard over the TV. "Turn. It. Down!"

InuYasha lowered the volume to a half decent level, and then turned to me. "Ki-Kagome? Hey, you're finally here! Happy birthday!" InuYasha came over to me and gave me a hug, a box held tightly in one of his hands.

"Is that for me?" I asked, pointing to the box; which he was trying to hide behind his back currently.

"Yeah, it is." He said, sweat-dropping a bit. "How'd you know?"

"Well, with the way you were trying to hide it, I just figured it might be for me, especially since it's my birthday…" I said, looking down at my feet.

'Gosh, I like him so much… Was my face turning red? Wait, did I put matching socks and shoes on this morning?'

"Kagome, is there something wrong?" InuYasha asked, peering down at my lowered head.

"No, nothing's wrong." I said, raising my head to meet his gaze. "It just feels a little hot in here, is all…. Is my face all red?" I stumbled, trying to make an appropriate lie. I was almost sure my face was red from the way I was blushing. God, I felt like such a klutz, I just couldn't be around him without my face turning red, could I?

"Yeah it is actually. Maybe we should get going; some cool air might make you feel better. Kikyou!" InuYasha turned around, calling up the stairs.

Crap. I just had to go ruin it. Maybe he wouldn't have noticed or minded if I hadn't mentioned anything, but I just had to go and open my big mouth.

It was then that Kikyou made her way downstairs. "Hello Kagome." She said in that eerie creepy tone she always seemed to have. It bugged me and irked me, hell, it wasn't like I really liked her that much.

"Well here's your gift…" InuYasha handed it to me and I just stood there, waiting. Finally, I raised my hand and reached over plucking the gift from his hand. "Thanks…"  
I said, turning and walking towards the door.

Slipping my shoes on, I opened the door with a shaky hand and closed it. I ran ahead. I couldn't stand to see those two together, not now, not ever.

I looked down at the small gift in my hand, wondering what on earth InuYasha had gotten for me. Using one hand to steady the box, I grasped the ribbon with one hand and in one steady motion undid the entire thing. I lifted the lid off the box and plunged my hand into its depths curious to see what it was and pulled out…

A note?

My eyes scanned the writing on the paper.

_Kagome,_

Meet me after school in the park.

InuYasha.

'Well, that certainly was an interesting gift…' I thought, stuffing the note in my pocket and tossing the box and ribbon into the nearby bush. What'd it matter if we littered? We'd die someday and it would be someone else's problem then. And wouldn't the box decompose and go back into the earth. The ribbon would probably just get picked up sometime and eventually thrown away. Life was like that.

You live, you're loved, you're thrown away, you die.

For some reason, I felt like that box was giving me some sort of omen…

(Page Break)

The day seemed to drag on in some points and speed up in others. Needless to say, it wasn't the greatest… Mostly due to the fact that almost no one at school knew it was my birthday. I just walked through the crowds of people watching everyone walk past me, feeling like an individual in a crowd full of everyone trying to be the same.

But finally, finally, it was the end of the day. Gathering my stuff and shoving it into my knapsack; I headed towards the door and walked out the door after waiting for everyone to shove and push their way out.

When they were all gone, I pushed my own way out and headed off in the direction of the park.

I couldn't believe he wanted to talk to me and…  
What the fuck?

There was an ambulance across from the street, and even though it was a distance from me, I could see the head of silver hair and… Oh my god.

It couldn't be.  
But it was.  
It was InuYasha.

I ran across the street as fast as I'd ever gone in my life and managed to jump into the back of the ambulance before they could close the doors. 

"Who are you?" One of the ambulance men said while the other closed the door. I just grabbed InuYasha's hand and held onto it, feeling that if I didn't, I'd lose him forever.

"Girlfriend?" One of the men asked.  
"He did have those roses in his hand, it looked like he was going to meet her."

"What happened?" I asked, summing up all the courage I had.

"Well the person who witnessed the accident and called us said he walked on the wrong sign and he wasn't really paying attention, almost as if he was lost in thought. The car just hit him and drove off, as if they had a malicious intent was how the witness described it."

We soon reached the hospital, through all the nail biting tension, and I followed him to the emergency room.

Even more nail biting tension followed, as I sat in the waiting room outside of the emergency room, waiting for word on his condition.

"I have good news and bad news for you."  
"The good news first please." I said.

"He's awake. But the bad news is, we don't know for how long and in this condition.."

I was already dashing into the hospital room before he could say anything more.

"Hi, InuYasha…" I said softly, kneeling at his side.

"Kagome… I can see the light…It's white and very, very bright…"

"Get away from it InuYasha…" I said, tears pouring from my eyes and trailing down my cheeks.

"I'm trying, but it's not working… It's getting closer… Kagome, I love you…"

"I love you too InuYasha." I yelled but the steady beep beep beeps had turned into one solid beep and I knew he was gone.

I put my head on top of my crossed arms and cried, the blankets becoming soaked with my tears.

Eventually, the doctor came in and told me that he'd suffered a concussion and there had been so much internal bleeding he was never going to live again.

Shortly after, the papers read that another person had jumped off a building.  
That person was me.

(Page Break)

Inu Kaiba: Sorry it took so long Megan, but there you go. It's longer than Kandra's. :) Since, you were on more, knew about it, and I made you wait. Hope you liked it, even though it was really, really sad…But, then again you like these kinds of fics, so I'm sure you loved it.


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